There is the old adage, isn’t there, about the pretty house and the ugly house that stand near each other on the same street. The pretty house is so beautiful, so much more attractive – why would anyone, given the choice, hang out in the ugly house? The answer of course is that the beautiful house has a view onto the ugly house whilst the ugly house looks out on the beautiful one.
The same principle could be applied to Bratislava’s Lindner Gallery Hotel. We’re not calling this thirteen-floor building just outside the historic core of the Old Town ugly exactly – but when you compare its facade to the stunning 17th-century townhouses stretching away across the nearby city centre in a wave of steeply-pitching orange rooftops, it will seem plain. Plain as in unexceptional and modern, that is – nothing more extreme.
But new and shiny in its modernity the Lindner is – and inside it opens like a chrysalis into a garish montage of colour that, well, will leave an impression (on your eyeballs, certainly). The predominant colour seems to be lime green, and this flies in flourishes of debatable taste all the way up to the thirteenth floor.
13 might be unlucky for some. But not for guests here. The undoubted highlight of this hotel is the Outlook Bar here, where you get the best views of Bratislava Castle and the Old Town it’s possible to get from the city centre’s accommodation possibilities (and all for the relatively minor exertion of pressing the elevator button).
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But there is no escaping the German owners’ functionalist design hotel theme, which at times harks of the overly-efficient minimalist. The dullest parts are reserved for the public areas; perhaps fortunately; the rooms themselves are functionalist in a more agreeable way. They tick every box they should and not one more (a smart appearance, flat-screen multi-channel TVs, innocuous pine furnishings, no wall decorations save for large images of a Bratislava made to seem very modern and awash with neon light). The bathrooms are well-stocked, although inward-opening doors restrict an already limited space within. The food? Breakfasts are a missed trick: standard international with a vaguely Germanic and absolutely zero local influence with the fare. As for dinner, you’ll be having that (if you dine here at all which is totally unnecessary this close to the centre – see here for some good local restaurants) in the Outlook Bar so will be focussing on the panorama of Bratislava out of the window anyway.
But the prices, for a central-ish location (Trnavské Mýto) make the Lindner not only competitive – but a real bargain. Try venturing into the historic core for a smart room with a view like this and you will fail – miserably. A lift also connects the hotel to a large shopping and leisure centre. And in Medická Záhrada, a 300m walk away, you are close to the city centre’s nicest park. And oh, that view!
Why the Lindner has “gallery” in its name remains more of a mystery. Perhaps the gallery referred to is the vista. Perhaps they just added it in there to make it sound posher or more enigmatic. After all, what hotel doesn’t want to sound posher or more enigmatic?
Thanks to reader Jon Clift who provided the pics and who provided much of the info following his stay here
PRICES: For 2015, one weekday night’s double prices are around 100 Euros. But book for two nights and the prices tumble down, with doubles working out at just 70 Euros at the weekend – significantly cheaper than most other decent city centre hotels.