This is, as near as dammit, the view from a pension (guesthouse) that is long overdue on this blog. That’s right: Zlata Noha (which translates as golden leg). Golden leg refers to their dog, but I digress. Bratislava has hills: beautiful hills. Beautiful hills = beautiful views. The district of Koliba (haunt of diplomats and made-it-good lawyers and bankers and full of very nice, lavish hillside mansions) is one such vantage point. There are few better city panoramas than from here. And it’s here you’ll find the pension that, for better or for worse, I invariably used when staying as a visitor in the city.
In essence, the reason you’d want to stay at Zlata Noha is to get an ok room with a pretty fabulous view at a price far cheaper than in the centre. It is, as far as I know, the cheapest half-decent guesthouse in town and double room rates are cheaper than the city centre hostels.
You get there by trolleybus 203 from the cross-section of Šancová (that’s the road that the main train station is off) and Karpatská (it’s about the third stop but just say “Pension Zlata Noha” to the driver and he’ll get you). From here, actually, a plethora of signs point the way – head uphill from the trolleybus stop and you are sure to see them.
I remember the first time I stayed there. Fish in a large tank flit psychedelically in an otherwise largely dim and silent front reception area and then an old man, amiable enough but with scant English, comes out to unceremoniously thrust you the key to your room and add to the whole Ray Bradbury Scifi feel of the place when you arrive, invariably in the dead of night due to flight connections.
But fear not. You are in for a fairly pleasant surprise with the view, which looks down, as per the picture, across Bratislava’s largely unheralded but rather beautiful vineyards down into the city centre. Even at night, the Bratislava lights and smoking out-of-town factories have the desired effect: a sense, if you have come from Western Europe or the US, of having landed somewhere “other”.
The actual room facilities are pretty simple. There are no frills here. They are clean, but done in cheap wood, but have plenty of blankets and equally clean bathrooms (with very hot water, don’t worry). Then again, the price is only 30/40 Euros single/double if you pay cash rather than on card (small surcharge) with breakfast a pretty reasonable 5 Euros on top. By comparison, guesthouses that are little or no better in the centre charge 60 Euros plus. And Zlata Noha has the views. Trolleybus 203, in any case, whisks you right down into the city centre at Hodžovo Namestie very quickly (and every ten minutes).
Breakfast is, well, full of those amazing cross-vineyard views, in a very convivial breakfast room (you can also order a beer here at the makeshift bar at night because you are a long way from the next nearest drinking establishment). If the younger guy is on duty he makes great “hamundeggs” aka “ham and eggs” a kind of great, gooey omelette. There’s also a buffet-style spread of cereal, yoghurt, some croissants or other interesting bready snacks and boiled eggs, along with cold meats. All in all, it’s scrumptious and good value.
The downsides are the dog (of golden legs fame) barking at impromptu parts of the night at nothing in particular (maybe the moon, who knows?) so if you get a room to the top of the stairs and THEN RIGHT in the other wing that’s best. But the dog doesn’t always bark so maybe you’ll be alright. Another little-celebrated UPside is that here you are actually within walking distance (if you continue up the road) of the Bratislava Mestské Lesy (Local City Forest) which spreads away around and beyond the Kamzik TV mast in swathes of unadulterated wildness right the way across the Carpathians.
The thing is, with guesthouses like Pension Zlata Noha: they just don’t make them like this any more. Now they’re a bit fancier, with better wifi connections, and abstract art on the walls, and charge significantly more for such privileges. But really? Honestly? Pension Zlata Noha is one of the good ole fashioned Bratislava guesthouses. Go on. Try your Slovak out. Chow down on hamundeggs. And celebrate staying in a capital city in a room with a view for under 40 Euros!